Chanel Couture Spring 2014

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Chanel… Where Couture Meets Fanny Packs

Fashion always looks forward, but with all the movement in designers and new talent there’s been an awful lot of looking back. Not this season. Typically Haute Couture shows us the essence of any fashion house (typically french) and uses that heritage as the medium in which to create the masterpieces that make a statement on the next season’s trends. Well, Chanel hip checked the past and used roller derby girls dressed in intrepid looking kicks (obviously adorned with pearls and fabulousness) and structured belts that all too obviously resembled corsets… to kick that to the curb. BUT WAIT! Corsets??!! The very THING Coco Chanel herself would NEVER be caught dead in and the THING that raised her fashion house from junketed millinery to brilliantly coveted trendy (at the time) garb.

So is she turning over in her grave? Or giggling at the flights of fancy that was represented by the models descending the staircase more like quick ballerina’s (a couture absolute no-no not to mention throwing away a direct spotlight opportunity for the clothing). Perhaps the clothes WERE best viewed fluttering down a staircase? Perhaps this very sporty vision of the Spring 2014 Couture line needed that flounce and decorative elegance it assumed from the movements of the models (executed brilliantly I should add).

Something I find myself turning over in my bed chamber is the (and all my fans know EXACTLY WHAT I’M GOING TO SAY…) FANNY PACKS! WHAT the WHAT KARL? Why Why WHY would you introduce those damnable tummy accentuating, too cool for fashion, U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi, you ugly, eh eh, you ugly fanny packs?!

Now everyone who can afford couture and is trendy is going to be wearing them and will posses all the attitude in the world (because they’re getting all the nasty looks because they’re going against one (if not more) of god’s commandments… Though Shall Not Weareth Thy Fanny Packet… It’s in there somewhere…) and all because the thing is a Chanel Couture bag. Lagerfeld has eliminated all excuses for me to harang people wearing those belted front sacks! WHY??? What have I done to him?

While I grieve… the rest of Paris couture Spring 2014 goes on and this must be my focus… Away from the tummy rubbing rucksack and onto the rest of the beautification of the world of fashion. The less we mention it the less it exists.

P.S. The rest of the show was FIERCE!